Whose Fault Is It Anyway?

In my last post, I talked about feelings, and how understanding them and being honest with ourselves are the best ways to understand truth. However, recognizing truth is only part of the battle. Knowing what to do with it is often more challenging.

Since every truth is different, they may require different actions. There is no formula on how to appropriately act on truth once we understand it. However, there is one thing that I feel always should accompany any action we make, and that is a willingness to accept personal responsibility.

Now, I might not be the best person to be preaching this sermon on responsibility. Having been married for nearly two years, I have found that one of the greatest perks to marriage is being able to use your spouse as an excuse to get out of something you don’t want to do. My wife and I have both given one another the green light to “pull the spouse card” when we don’t have another legitimate excuse available.

I know this may not be 100% honest. I sleep at night telling myself that this can only be used for small things (don’t want to come over to the neighbor’s house for dinner but don’t want to hurt their feelings, etc.). Pulling the spouse card is one thing, but when making decisions based on truth which is religious or spiritually based, we need to be strong enough to take ownership of our actions and decisions. In other words, we shouldn’t pass off the responsibility to God. Doing this is one example of what the Ten Commandments calls “taking the name of the Lord in vain” (or, as I like to call it, pulling the God card).

Preparing for this post reminded me of an old Saturday Night Live skit called “Pious Housewife.” Sally Field plays a super-religious homemaker who prays to God about everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. Prays for the cast of her favorite day-time TV program, prays that the rice won’t get sticky, etc. Finally, Jesus (Phil Hartman) appears to her. At first she is overjoyed, but she soon learns that he isn’t there to compliment her ability to pray obsessively. He politely explains that although it is good to pray, he would appreciate if she would “tone it down a bit.” It is a good, humorous example of showing how some people don’t use principle of moderation even in religious worship, and how they use God to justify everything in their lives (For the full transcript of the skit, click here).

Pulling the God card and taking the name of the Lord in vain has often led to very tragic consequences. People throughout the centuries have used God as an excuse to kill others, to commit adultery, to abandon their children, or even to start wars.

Other times, people take the name of the Lord in vain because they want something and they don’t think their own efforts will be legitimate enough to gain it. My wife, a proud BYU graduate, has told me college dating stories, where young men would tell her: “I prayed about it, and feel that God wants us to get married/date/whatever.” Seeing as how more than one person used this one on her, it would seem that a lot of independent decision making concerning her life was going on without her even being part of the discussion.

In other circumstances, people use God as an excuse because they are just plain chicken. Using the same example of the Mormon dating scene, how many break-ups have been formalized by pulling the God card. “The Spirit is telling me that we shouldn’t see each other any more.” (Translation: “I don’t really like you but am too big of a wuss to tell you how I really feel.”)

Now, I am not saying that God doesn’t communicate important, life-changing information to us time to time. I have had experiences where I feel very personal and important counsel has been given to me. However, we are ultimately responsible for how we act in response. God gave us agency to choose so that we would develop our own personal sense of responsibility. While we can learn truth from God, we should never use Him as an excuse.