The Mormon Missionary Part VII: If You Build It, They Will Come

Before becoming a missionary, I considered myself an outgoing person. I enjoyed talking to new people, and friends told me that this would be useful as a missionary.

They were partially right. I was fine talking to strangers about many things. However, I quickly found that the standard “missionary small-talk” was difficult for me. Starting a conversation with a question like “Do you believe in God?” seemed horribly awkward. I knew that if I felt awkward asking, the other person probably felt doubly awkward. I would often consider how I might react if somebody struck up such a conversation with me.

As missionaries, we were told to “open our mouths.” In other words, we should always be talking to others. In order to fulfill my mandate, I tried a number of different approaches. I wanted to find a way to approach people that didn't have the awkward feel, but would still allow me opportunities to teach the Gospel. But it often continued to feel unnatural and forced.

At one particular point, there was a great push to get missionaries talking to people. We were trained on how to “open our mouths” everywhere we went. For a few weeks, I made real efforts to do so, using all the tricks of the trade I had learned so far. It was both exciting and frustrating, still often associated with awkward connections, dirty looks, etc. But I made an effort.

Then, one morning while on the bus, I struck up a conversation with a woman sitting next to me. I didn't bring up anything initially about religion or try to pry into the person's life. We engaged in a genuine, real conversation. Within a few minutes, she had opened up to me. “Where are you from?” she asked. “What are you doing here in Russia?” and “A missionary? What church do you represent?” That lead to further questions, such as “How is your church different than the Russian Orthodox” and “What do you believe in?”

It was amazing. Suddenly, I wasn't the one asking the questions. Rather, this stranger was showing interest in me and what I was doing. Now she didn't end up becoming a convert to the Church, but this particular exchange taught me a very important lesson about human nature.

Have you ever gone into a store, not sure what you are looking for? Then, a salesperson approaches you and asks “Can I help you find anything?” What is your reaction? Perhaps it is different for you, but I have the tendency to decline any help at first. My initial reaction is “I can find something on my own, why would I need any help?” However, when I am the one approaching a salesperson and asking for help, my attitude drastically changes.

I believe missionaries face a similar challenge. There are many people they approach who, in the right context, would probably be curious and interested in learning more about the Gospel, if for nothing else than for the sake of learning something new. However, many of these same people, when they feel the Gospel is being handed to them unasked, will push it away out of reflex. I believe that often missionaries are too eager to impart their knowledge upon strangers, and so doing, build automatic walls that may eliminate any chance there may have been to teach.

The solution is fairly simple. It still involves opening one's mouth. But rather than immediately trying to push the person into the deep end of the pool, let them wade in on their own. Missionaries have a wonderful advantage in that they are representing the Church full-time. Often, they are in a foreign country. The idea of 19-year-olds traveling across the world to talk about religion is very curious indeed, and a great conversation starter.

When it comes to true conversion to the Gospel, the person must make that decision on their own. By building a genuine relationship of trust, many who otherwise would decline a forced religious conversation will open up to the idea of the Gospel. Missionaries will end up with more opportunities to teach, more conversions to the Gospel, and more friends to the Church. If they build it, they will come.